Could simply be brain doing brain things. Soaking my knees in the tub, flashed on the time I went up Stone Mountain, five-nearly-six years ago. Saw the climb, with the bike on my shoulder (like a freak, or a moron, or a freaking moron) and saw the turn once I reached the summit. Above the treeline, up In The Blue, overlooking the curve of the earth. The fear is what I remember, the panic, the hammering pulse, the need to get as close to the ground as I could. Begging for someone to help me, terrified for my life, totally unreasoning. Of course I made it down, by walking, like a normal person. Of course the panic attack ended and I was fine. As I watch the reel play, my heart rate does nothing: it's a memory, and I know it. The association is strictly one of panic, and anxiety, and fear. So while I'm like this and my brain chemistry is fucked up, of course it's going to yank index cards filing similarly existential woo-woos.
Yesterday and today, I note, flashes have been while my eyes are trained right. Pertinent? No clue.
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